[Fisher:]Urgent, Target; Sector CTX of our data base has lost all I/O
functions. When the account logged onto our system, we were temporarily able
to verify it as a registered user. Approximately 38 seconds ago, your
verification was made void by loss of data in the Sector CTX. Now, due to AOL
verification protocol, it is mandatory for us to re-verify your account.
Please click "Respond" and re-state your password. Failure to comply will
result in immediate account deletion.
Target: Really?
[Fisher:] Yes, Please re-state your password.
Target: What happened?
[Fisher:] Power surge
Target: Run a high density thermal scan of cylinder 8732 on Stratus' deep
logic files. That's standard for dealing with data lost from Power surges
with more than a 98 Terawatt surge in Sector CTX. Didn't that work?
[Fisher:] No, We need your password.
Target: Hmm, Try running a kernal level disk scan at a sub-molecular V232
work load. Remember to purge the cache first.
Target: What department are you in right now?
[Fisher:] System Control.
Target: I'll run a Lock in Trace to get your number. What's your
supervisor's name?
[Fisher:] What do you mean "Lock in Trace"?
Target: Standard VOS kernal trace. Takes about thirty seconds. Check on
page 3442 of the NOC manual on authentication.
[Fisher:] You aren't tracing my number, are you?
Target: Yes. I'm in NOC right now. It's only a couple meters from
Sector CTX. Is Cindy in yet? I need to talk to her about phishers. The FBI
agreed to start arresting any phishers on AOL.
[Fisher:] FBI?
Target: Yeah, The agents said phishers would get twenty years in jail per
account phished. Plus a $300,000 fine.
Target: The Lock in Trace is done. Wait a second... You aren't from
Sector CTX!!! I'm calling the FBI right now. I'll make sure you spend the
rest of your life in jail!!
[Fisher:] No!!! I'M ONLY A KID. I'M SORRY!! I WON'T EVER DO IT AGAIN!!!
Target: Yeah, Yeah Tell it to the judge. Don't drop the soap.
[Fisher:] BUT I'M ONLY A KID
Target: Likely story. They are sending a team right now. You're luck.
Not many people get to meet FBI agents as they break through your windows.
[Fisher:] MY PARENTS ARE GOING TO KILL ME
Target: Well, Then your parents will get arrested for killing you.
[Fisher:] PLEASE STOP THEM!!! PLEEEEEAAAASSSSEEEEE!!!!!
[Waited about thirty seconds just to raise my phisher's blood pressure about
6000%]
Target: Ok, I'll stop them. But you have to do something.
[Fisher:] ANYTHING
Target: Sit in the corner for twenty-three minutes and twelve seconds
and say "I'm a bad boy" over and over. Then after twenty-three minutes and
twelve seconds, write a letter a letter to CATWatch, SteveC, Tatiana1G and
TOSGeneral confessing to your crimes and beg them to forgive you. Got it?
[Fisher:] Ok. I'll do it.
[About half an hour later]
[Fisher:] Ok I wrote the letters and sat in the corner.
Target: I spoke with the FBI. They won't arrest you this time. But next
time you'll get locked up for good.